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<title>What'll i do ? by Mikewaters</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24155815">What'll i do ?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikewaters/pseuds/Mikewaters'>Mikewaters</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead Poets Society (1989)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:00:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24155815</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikewaters/pseuds/Mikewaters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Todd misses Neil.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Todd Anderson/Neil Perry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What'll i do ?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>the song neil sings is whatll i do by nat king cole</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was early December. A hazy fog hung between the earth and sky, dimming the glow of the streetlights outside his window.<br/>
If Todd squinted hard enough he could see the fuzzy white glow of the stars freckling the night sky. If he squinted hard enough he could see a lot of things lately. Some nights when he would begin to slip into dreams in the dim light of their room, he would feel snow begin to flutter down from the ceiling to sting his cheeks, like how Neil once pressed his lips to them not long ago. On most nights the snow quickly melted to tears.<br/>
Tonight was different. Todd lay awake squinting at the stars trying not to feel anything,not wanting to forget but not trying to remember what it was he was missing.His stomach was churning and his sheets were cold and uncomfortable, the fabric scratching at his skin. Todd spared a glance at the bed across the room, it felt so far away. Tears began to sting his cheeks but no snow had fallen tonight. He looked around at how the moon lit up Neils side of the room, highlighting the unwanted fact Todd tried so hard to ignore.<br/>
His eyes clenched tightly only opening them when he heard a twinkling melody begin to float through the room as if someone were playing a record, bouncing off of every surface, as a vision came into sight. Todds breath hitched as he tried to blink it away. There in the middle of the room stood neil, arms pointed towards the ceiling as he twirled and twirled as if life depended on it. Laughter bubbling out of him.<br/>
Song filled the room as neil began to whisper the lyrics as he held todds gaze.</p><p>What'll i do when i am wondering who,<br/>
is kissing you, What'll i do<br/>
when i'm alone with only dreams of you<br/>
that wont come true What'll i do.</p><p> </p><p>Todd watched in amazment as neil danced around the room in joy, staring into his eyes as if it would give him an answer as to why this all happened,as if to ask neil where he was.until he stopped ,sudden. A slap reverberated off the walls of the dorm as Neil hit the floor and ,as if he had never been there at all,faded out of existence. The room became quiet and todd raced to clench his eyes together trying to catch neil, but it was too late. He was alone again with only the light of the moon to mock him.<br/>
And neil was gone.<br/>
Only alive in todds memories.</p>
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